Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
