but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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