My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
