he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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