so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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