I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
