I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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