Don't make out with my wife yet
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
