if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
