i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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