One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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