every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
