Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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