Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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