just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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