69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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