i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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