"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
