No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
