I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
