btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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