apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
