ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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