i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
