maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
