ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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