My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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