I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
