I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
