i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
