She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
