It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
