but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
