His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
love makes seman taste better
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
