We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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