I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
