Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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