I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
