eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
