did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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