were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Holy shit dude........stairs
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