idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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