do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am one with the molecules
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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