Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
