it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
