Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You dont lie about slip and slides
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize