Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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