I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
