tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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