dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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