is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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