I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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